WEBVTT

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[piano riff]

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[train horn blows]

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<v ->NSA leaker Edward Snowden is a menace.</v>

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No, not because he passed along information about

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classified surveillance programs to the press,

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that's sort of awesome.

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No, he's a menace because he gives the press

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an excuse to trot out the graphics and cutaways

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they always use to signify computer usage.

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I mean look at this.

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Now I understand it's not easy to make encrypted files

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and data transfers seem interesting and cool,

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especially when some of your viewership's

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most recent brush with technology was when an AOL disc

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fell out of their Time magazine in 1997.

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But this is obscene!

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Cables, pointer icons and elaborately named buttons.

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Ones and zeros, just like in The Matrix remember?

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And that tried and true standby, hands on a keyboard.

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And it's not like the movies,

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where truth really comes from, do much better.

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Let's see here, you've got your preposterous

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3D visualizations of hacking.

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You've got your meaningless fuse-a-lods of techno babble.

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<v ->I'll create a gooey interface using Visual Basic,</v>

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see if I can track an IP address.

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<v ->And yes, my personal favorite.</v>

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<v ->It's moving too fast.</v>

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<v ->Two people using a keyboard simultaneously</v>

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to fight off a hacker in some other location.

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That's not how typing works!

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Hollywood discovered the scary internet in the mid-1990's

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and they still haven't gotten it right.

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<v ->Oh my God.</v>

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<v ->Trust me America, you do not want me as your anchorman.</v>

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You couldn't handle it!

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[classical music]

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[electronic swoosh]

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What do you hate about the way

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the news media covers technology?

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Drop me a line in the comments.